What if?
by luci465
Summary: This is just a bit of fluff and another take on Marissa and Bianca realizing their feelings for each other with some help from Kendall.
1. Marissa

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to AMC. I am simply borrowing them and taking them for a spin.

Kendall had decided it was way past time to step in and stick her nose in Bianca's personal life. She hated seeing her sister miserable. When was it going to be Bianca's turn for happiness? If she left it up to her sister, the answer would be never. The past had left Bianca's heart scarred. It had left her scared to take a chance on love again, to trust her heart one more time. Kendall had listened to and observed her sister for weeks. She saw her struggle with her growing feelings for Marissa. She watched as those feelings turned into love. She saw that newfound love in her eyes whenever Bianca talked about or saw the redhead. She also heard the fear in her voice. It was the fear that she would lose Marissa being in her life if those feelings were voiced and not returned. It was the fear that her heart would be shattered yet again.

While Kendall was watching her sister, she was also watching Marissa. There was a connection between the two that was obvious. The redhead seemed to light up whenever Bianca was around, and she always came up with a reason to touch her sister in some small way. Kendall thought she recognized the same feelings in Marissa's eyes that were in Bianca's. Something had to be done, damn it. She hoped what she was about to do was right. Her instincts had never really failed her before. They were telling her this time was different. That Marissa was different. That she would not and could not break her sister's heart.

Kendall had decided to take a page out of her mother's book and confront the situation head on. She had invited Marissa to lunch with one purpose in mind, to gage the redhead's feelings for her sister. It was going to be tricky so that's why she got to Krystal's early. She wanted to map out her plan of attack. When Kendall walked into the restaurant, she was surprised to see Marissa was already there. The redhead seemed lost in thought and was scribbling on a legal pad in front of her. Kendall took a deep breath and approached her table.

"Hey, Marissa. Thanks for meeting me."

Marissa jumped at the greeting and quickly turned over the legal pad before Kendall could see what was written on it. "Is Bianca okay? I mean Hi, Kendall. No problem. Is everything okay with Bianca?" Smooth Marissa, real smooth.

Kendall smiled. "She's fine. I just thought we could use a break from all of the recent drama with our families and talk."

Marissa was relieved that nothing was wrong with Bianca, and she could finally release the breath she had been holding in since she had gotten Kendall's call. "That sounds like a great idea. The service is a little slow today since Krystal is down a server. How about I get you a drink and then we can talk?"

"That iced tea you have looks like it would do the trick."

"One iced tea coming up."

As Marissa disappeared to get her drink, Kendall thought about that short exchange. The first words out of Marissa's mouth had been about Bianca, and the relief when she was assured that Bianca was fine was evident. Kendall was definitely on to something. The legal pad was still on the table where Marissa had left it. Kendall's instincts kicked in again as she turned it over. She had to see what Marissa had been writing. Kendall wanted to kick herself at first for setting herself to be disappointed. At first glance, it looked like Marissa had just been doodling mindlessly on the paper, but something caught her eye. The initials of JR were written a couple of times on the paper. A slash had been struck through them each time. Then, she saw Bianca's name written several times. Next to her name, was a simple question, 'what if?' I knew it! Kendall quickly turned the pad back over as Marissa approached the table with her drink in hand. As the redhead moved her chair, Kendall caught a glimpse of a familiar package in her purse. A sly smile crossed Kendall's face.

"Your drink as requested."

"Thank you." Kendall took a long drink and came up with her next move. "I don't want you to think I'm snooping through your things, but I couldn't help but see the music box in your purse. Did Bianca tell you where she found it?"

Marissa blinked and could only manage "huh?" in reply.

"The music box. Did Bianca tell you where she found it? I meant to ask her the other day when she showed it to me, but didn't get the chance. She was so excited when she found it, and hoped you would like it." Keep a straight face, Kendall told herself.

"Like it? I love it! It's the most thoughtful gift I've ever received. Wait. Bianca found the music box? I thought JR. That son of a bitch." Thoughts and feelings flooded Marissa. Something clicked. Suddenly, everything started making sense. How did she not see what was in front of her this whole time?

Kendall could see the truth dawning on Marissa in her eyes and her heart.

"Um, Kendall, would you mind if we rescheduled lunch? There's something I need to do." Marissa was already up and grabbing her purse.

"Oh. Sure. Is everything okay? It's not something I said, is it?" Keep it together just a little longer, Kendall.

"No. No. Everything is great. Perfect in fact!" A huge smile formed on Marissa's face. "I just remembered something important I have to tell Bianca. I'll catch up with you later." Marissa rushed out of Krystal's as if her life depended on finding Bianca, which it did. All this time! It was Bianca! She was in love with Bianca!

Kendall sat back with a self-satisfied smirk on her face. That was easier than I thought. Damn, I'm good! I guess that answers 'what if'.


	2. Bianca

A/N: I thought I was done with this story the other day, but I was wrong! Almost as soon as I posted it, I had the idea for a second part. I've used creative license to mess with the timeline a little along with the story. I was going to have Kendall trick Bianca like she did Marissa, but that didn't really work for me. I decided to play it straight up and honest like Kendall and Bianca's relationship. Hope you like it. I'm open to any other story suggestions since I'm kind of liking tapping into my creative side.

As she sat at Krystal's waiting for her check, Kendall glanced at the clock on the wall. It had been almost two hours since her conversation with Marissa. Countless questions went through her mind. Did Marissa find Bianca yet? That's a stupid question. Of course she did. One always seemed to know where the other one was. She wasn't quite sure how that happened exactly, but it did. Was there some sort of tracking device involved? Kendall smiled and shook her head at the thought. Where were they? How did Marissa's confession go? Was she able to get through to Bianca? Would her little sister listen and believe what Marissa was telling her? Would Bianca be able to overcome her fear and find the strength and courage to open her heart one more time? If Kendall knew anything about her sister, it was that she could be stubborn. It was the Kane blessing and curse. She'd give almost anything to be a fly on the wall of wherever these two were. Well, she thought, I'm not going to find anything out sitting here. With that, she started to get up and track down her server. When she saw Bianca come through the door, the look in her sister's eyes stopped her cold. "Binks, what's wrong?"

Bianca took the empty seat by Kendall and laid her head down on the table. "Nothing. Everything." She raised her head slowly, tears welling in her eyes. "Marissa thinks she's in love with me."

Kendall's heart was breaking to see her sister like this. "Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? Wait. You said she 'thinks' she's in love with you. You don't believe her?"

Bianca shook her head.

"Why not?"

"Because she's just confused about her feelings for JR and the gratitude over a gift."

"Gratitude over a gift? What are you talking about?" Oh, damn, Kendall thought. She knew damn good and well what gift.

"The music box. She somehow figured out that I was behind it along with everything else JR's been doing for her. She's gotten everything confused in her mind. Her feelings for JR. That damn music box. She's not in love with me. She can't be."

"I'll ask you again. Why not?"

"She's straight, Kendall. She's confused and scared about moving forward with JR again. That's understandable given everything in their past, but she's in love with JR and not me."

"Why not?" Kendall kept pushing, knowing the answer.

"She can't be. I can't let her be! I can't go down this road again!"

Kendall let out a small sigh. I was afraid of this. I hope I can get through to her. "Tell me what happened, what she said exactly."

Bianca took a deep breath. "Well, she caught up with me in the park. She said she knew something was going on between us going back to when we were locked in the closet. She had been trying to figure out what it was for a long time. When she found out about the music box, everything clicked. I didn't know what she meant by that. She said that the song was something her dad sang to her when she was scared. It made her feel good about herself. It made her feel like she could do anything in the world as long as she had the courage to try. I was that song. I made her feel the way that song makes her feel. She said that she knew what she wanted, and she wanted me. Then, she kissed me." A shiver ran through Bianca as she remembered that kiss causing her to smile. She quickly shook her head and continued. "I told her she was confused, and that wasn't her or what she wanted. She was just angry and hurt about finding out that JR wasn't behind those things. I couldn't go down that dead end road again, and it was best if things stopped before anyone got hurt. I left after that. I don't think I'll every forget the look on her face when she said I was hurting her now."

"She told you that you were that song and made her feel like that?" Damn, Kendall thought, who knew Red had that in her! "What in the hell are you doing here?"

"Kendall"

"I'm serious, Binks! Someone tells you something like that, and that they want you! You don't just walk away!"

"Kendall"

"No, listen to me. You trust me, don't you? You know that I would never let someone hurt you, right?"

"Of course I trust you, Kendall. I know that you wouldn't let anyone hurt me. I almost feel sorry for anyone who would try."

Kendall took a deep breath and braced herself. "I told Marissa about the music box."

"You told her? What the hell, Kendall? Why would you do that?"

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't just sit back and watch you lose the woman that you love and the one who loves you!"

"Kendall, that's not up to you to decide! Now, look at this mess! Wait. You think Marissa really loves me?"

"I do. That's why I invited her to lunch today. I wanted to make sure I was right. I've seen the way she looks at you, touches you. She was there for you through the divorce and custody battle. When mom was kidnapped, she was right there by your side. Hell, she put her life in danger for you with Ricky. Made sure you got to hospital and didn't leave your side until she knew you were okay. Did you once have to ask her to do any of that?"

"No. She just did those things. That's just the kind of person she is."

"You can't seriously believe that she did all of that for you because she's just your friend! I've watched her. She doesn't look at JR the way she looks at you. She doesn't touch him the way she does you. It's like she has to touch you every time you're together. Marissa literally lights up when she sees you! The only time I've ever seen anything like that is when you see her!"

Bianca couldn't believe what she was hearing from Kendall. She trusted Kendall's opinion above all others. Could Kendall be right? Could Marissa really be in love with her?

Kendall saw the small glimmer of hope in her sister's eyes and knew she was finally getting through to her. That's when she pulled out Marissa's legal pad. "When I got here to talk to her earlier, I saw her writing on this. See what she was writing."

Bianca looked down at the pad of paper. She recognized Marissa's writing right away. She saw JR's initials had been crossed through. Her name seemed to fill the paper, and next to it each time was 'What if'. Bianca looked up at Kendall.

"That was before I told her about the music box. She was already well on her way to realizing how she felt about you. The music box was just that final little nudge she needed. She's in love with you, Binks. I've never been more certain of anything in my life. I mean, she kissed you in the park, in the middle of the day, for any and everyone to see! Trust me on this."

That is when Bianca finally let herself believe what Marissa had told her. "Oh my God, Kendall! What have I done? I hurt her so much earlier and just left her there, crying. How am I going to fix this?"

Kendall smiled. Finally! "Go find her and talk to her. Tell her how you really feel."

Bianca was out the door in a flash, but came back just as quickly. She hugged Kendall and said, "I love you!"

"I love you too. Now, go tell Marissa that!"


	3. The Park

**A/N: This was the first fanfic story I wrote. At the time I wrote the first chapter, I saw it as something fun to do that helped me get back in touch with my creative side. It also helped with the Minx withdrawal symptoms. I put it out there with my fingers crossed, hoping that people would like it. I can't tell you all how much it meant that others liked what I wrote. Originally, it was just one chapter about Marissa, and I marked it as complete. Then, I realized I needed to add something about Bianca. This time, I left it open. I just couldn't mark it as complete for some reason. I left it alone since that time. I quickly found this writing thing to be a little addictive and that I really enjoy it. I started writing other stories about Minx, but this one was always in the back of my mind. Recently, someone put a review up asking if I was going to complete it. That got my brain thinking about it again, and I came up with an idea to continue it. If you've been reading "Things Change", don't worry, I'm not remotely close to being done with that story. I'm working on the next chapter and have part of it done. The idea for this chapter was stuck in my head though, and I had to get it out. I apologize in advance for where I left this chapter. Don't hate me too much, but I couldn't help myself. Cliffhangers are kinda fun to write. Trust me, I am not leaving this as the ending for this story. I wouldn't do that to you. I hope you enjoy it! **

**/**

Marissa was alone in the park, sitting on the same bench where Bianca had been when she had confessed her feelings, her love for her best friend. Her eyes were red and swollen from the tears that she had been unable to hold back when Bianca had left her there alone, refusing to believe that the redhead was in love with her. She was afraid to go down a path that she had been down too many times to count. It was one that always resulted with her losing everything and always heartbroken.

Could Marissa have handled that confession better? She thought back to the events that led up to it. For some time now, longer than she really knew, she had begun to see her best friend in a different light. She just couldn't admit it to herself. She was afraid of what it meant and how things would change between them. Bianca was the best friend she had ever had, and she was her person. The one she could count on when everyone else had disappointed her, deserted her. Confessing that she saw Bianca in a different light, as something far more than a best friend, would jeopardize that relationship. When Kendall told her that it was Bianca behind the music box, the most thoughtful gift she had ever received, everything clicked for her, and she could no longer deny her feelings.

She finally allowed her brain to acknowledge something her heart had known for a while. Everything finally made sense to her. That feeling that she would get in her stomach whenever she saw Bianca? Marissa could never put her finger on what it was. It was butterflies. The woman literally gave her butterflies and made her feel like an excited, nervous and giddy schoolgirl. She couldn't stop herself from smiling when she saw or simply thought of Bianca, just the thought of the brunette made her happy. Marissa had never known anyone who had that effect on her. When they would talk, and they could talk for hours about everything, the redhead would find herself getting lost in Bianca's beautiful, warm brown eyes. Someone had said that eyes were the windows to a person's soul, and no truer words were ever spoken. Bianca had a truly beautiful soul, one that matched her exterior. Her smile lit up the darkest of rooms, the darkest of nights. Her laugh was the most beautiful music to Marissa's ears, and when she was able to make Bianca laugh, her heart soared. The redhead also realized that whenever she was with Bianca that she just had to touch her. It was a pull like nothing she had ever felt before. The touch of the brunette's velvety soft skin under her fingers had the most wonderful effect on her, like an electrical charge waking up every nerve in her body and making every part of her feel alive. Marissa recalled when she kissed Bianca, the feel of her lips against her own. It was sweet, tender, a bit tentative and over far too soon. It also stirred her like none other ever had and took her breath away.

Marissa recalled when she little and talking with her mom about when she knew she was in love with her dad. She always said he was her soulmate, and that Marissa would just know when she found her's. Her mom was right. She had found her soulmate in Bianca. It was cliché, but the brunette completed her, made her feel whole. Bianca was the missing piece in the puzzle of Marissa's life. When she was with her, she felt like she was home. She was in love with her, and she knew it. She had never been more positive of anything in her life. When Marissa finally allowed herself to acknowledge those feelings, she had rushed to find the brunette, needing to tell her everything that was in her heart. The redhead knew exactly where to find her. It was instinctive. Bianca was like a beacon calling to Marissa, to her heart. She could her find anywhere, anytime.

She found the brunette on the very bench she was sitting on now herself. When Marissa saw Bianca for the first time after realizing her feelings, her heart literally skipped a beat. It was something that had never happened to her, something she thought only happened to others or in the movies. The way the sunlight reflected on the luscious brown locks of her hair was mesmerizing. It took every ounce of strength she had not to run her fingers through them. The sunlight also seemed to dance in her eyes when Bianca's met her's. She was breathtaking. Marissa was unable to find her voice at first, but once she did, she had blurted everything out, unable to hold back her emotions. Bianca was stunned and not able to respond at first. Marissa realized she was talking too much, a habit of her's when she was extremely nervous. She hoped that her actions would speak louder than her words and convince Bianca of her feelings, of her love. Marissa leaned forward placing a tender yet tentative kiss on the brunette's lips. When she felt Bianca respond, it was everything that she had hoped it would be. As it began to deepen, Bianca suddenly pulled away. She told Marissa that she was just angry and hurt about finding out that JR wasn't really behind all of the wonderful things she had actually done for her. Bianca believed that Marissa was confused and could in no way be in love with her, that she wasn't who the redhead wanted.

Marissa tried to tell her that she was wrong, but Bianca wasn't listening. She couldn't allow herself to hear those words. Marissa saw what others had done to her. The pain they had caused her was too deep for her to believe that someone could feel that way about her again, to take one more chance. Bianca couldn't let herself go down that road again, take that chance again. The pain Marissa saw in her eyes had her wanting to track down each and every single person that had ever hurt this beautiful, incredible woman. She wanted to ask them what in the hell they were thinking and then slap the shit out of them repeatedly for all of the pain they had put her through.

Bianca's words finally sank in as she walked away from Marissa, leaving her heartbroken. That was almost four hours ago. Marissa hadn't been able to move from that spot. She couldn't recall ever hurting so much, but she had never felt so much before, never been in love so much before. She knew Bianca hadn't meant to hurt her. That wasn't who the brunette was. She was incapable of purposefully hurting someone like that. She was honestly trying to protect Marissa as well as herself and believed she was doing the right thing. She wiped away the remaining tears. It was time for her to think.

_What if Bianca's right? Am I just confused about how I feel about Bianca? Am I simply just feeling a form of gratitude over an extremely thoughtful gift? Am I reading too much into the music box? Am I just angry and hurt over being fooled yet again by JR? I've never been attracted to another woman before, but that doesn't matter to me. I've never known a woman like Bianca before, let alone another person like her. Maybe, I'm wrong about her feelings towards me. Maybe, she doesn't feel the same way that I do. No, I saw something in her eyes when I told her how I felt, and I could tell she that felt something when I kissed her. Bianca kissed me back. Everything she said about being down this road before and losing everything? She's afraid of taking another chance. And I'm not reading too much into that music box, she went out of her way to have that made for me. She found my dad's song and gave it back to me! You don't do that for just anyone. You don't do that for someone who is just a friend. No, she feels something for me. I have to find a way to get through to Bianca somehow. How can I make her see the truth, that I'm not confused, that I love her and would never hurt her? _

_What if I can't get through to her though? What then? Will I lose Bianca being in my life, even just as a friend? No, I can't go there. To not have her in my life at all is just too painful to even think about._

Marissa was lost in thought and didn't hear anyone approaching her until they spoke.

"There you are. I've been looking all over town for you. This was the last place I could think of. Can we talk?"

Marissa looked up suddenly and saw the last person she wanted to see at that moment. "What do you want, JR?"

/

Bianca raced over to the park after her conversation with Kendall. She had to talk to Marissa. She had to explain to her why she did what she did earlier, why she said what she did. Bianca hoped that she could make Marissa understand why. She had been so damn afraid of getting hurt again that she just couldn't let herself believe that Marissa was in love with her, and she had acted like a damn fool by letting her fear get the best of her. She had to make her listen. Marissa had to forgive her. The brunette was prepared to beg for that forgiveness if need be. Bianca was still kicking herself for leaving Marissa alone in the park with tears in her eyes. She would never be able to forgive herself for hurting her like that. She would spend the rest of her life trying to make that up to her. She had to let Marissa know how she felt.

It wasn't hard for Bianca to find her. She knew exactly where she would be. She could always find her. It didn't matter where she was. Marissa was like that candle kept lit in the window guiding Bianca to her, guiding her home.

She spotted the redhead immediately and took a deep breath as she walked towards her. Bianca stopped dead in her tracks after only a few steps. She saw JR approach Marissa with his most charming of smiles and take a seat beside her. _I'm too late._


	4. Spin

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews. I really appreciate them. Again, I'm sorry for that cliffhanger. I just couldn't help myself. Hopefully, this chapter will make it up to you all a little. I left it hanging again at the end but not quite like the last one. I couldn't do that to you all again. There will be more to come. I'm not done with this quite yet. I hope you enjoy it. **

**/**

Marissa was lost in her thoughts of Bianca and everything that had occurred earlier between them. She didn't hear anyone approaching her until they spoke.

"There you are. I've been looking all over town for you. This was the last place I could think of. Can we talk?"

Marissa looked up suddenly and saw the last person she wanted to see at that moment. "What do you want, JR?"

"I was hoping we could talk. I think there are some things we need to discuss." JR gave her what he considered to be his most charming smile and sat next to her.

The redhead looked at her ex-husband. _What did I ever really see in him? I can't believe I ever thought I was in love with him. _"Sure, JR, what do you want to talk about?"

"I'd like to talk about us."

"What about _us_?"

"I think our relationship has improved a great deal lately. If fact, I think things have never been better. It seems like we're moving forward to me, and I think you moving back into the mansion is the next step towards rebuilding our family."

"You want me to move back in with you?"_ Unbelievable!_

"Yes, I do. I think it just makes sense, don't you? I mean, you've said yourself that you thought we were getting along better, and you're impressed by how well I know you now. You've appreciated the efforts I've been making in regards to our relationship."

_Wow. Yeah, I'm impressed alright, just not the way you think._ "About that, you do seem to know me so much better now. Why is that exactly? What changed?"

"It's because I've been paying attention this time, listening to you more like I should have before. I'm learning from my mistakes." He gave her his most engaging smile.

"You're not the only one learning from their mistakes. I'm curious. Why now? Why do you want me to move back in? That's a pretty big step. We've only gone out once or twice so I wouldn't say we've been dating."

"Well, no, but I've realized how much you mean to me. I want you, and I just don't see any reason why we can't be together. Your life would be a great deal easier living with me. I can give you anything you want. You wouldn't have to work."

"I don't mind working, JR. I love my job. I help people, and I love being able to do that. I've worked hard to become a lawyer, and I'm good at it. I don't want to give that up. I don't see any reason to." Marissa paused. "I have a question for you. Where did you find the music box?"

JR struggled for an answer. He hadn't been expecting that question and didn't know what was so special about that damn music box, first Bianca and now Marissa. "The music box? Oh, I, uh, found it in uh, a little store I stumbled across on my last trip to New York."

"Where exactly?"

"I, uh, don't remember exactly. I'm sure I could find the name and let you know. Is it important?"

_More important than you'll ever know, and you mean once you ask Bianca where she got it._ "No, that's fine. I guess the where isn't what's important." _Especially when you have no clue._ "What made you think of me when you saw it? The song it plays is so lovely, so wonderful. How did you pick it?"

"Uh, well, it's beautiful just like you, and as for the song, it was unique, also just like you. You're one of a kind."

_You are good, I'll give you that. What the hell have I been thinking all of this time? You don't even begin to come close to Bianca. You never have, and you never will. There's just no comparison. _"I can't do this anymore. I'm not moving back, JR. I'll never move back in. I've moved on, and you should too."

The man was truly shocked. He was giving her his A game, and spinning as fast and as well as he could. "What? I don't understand. What about everything I've said?"

"Words, JR, they're just words to you, and ones that you don't even mean. You've said that you've changed, but you're still lying to me just like you always have. The difference this time is that I know it. I can see right through you, and no amount of spinning will change that."

"What are you talking about? I'm not trying to spin anything. I'm being completely honest."

"Bullshit! You're lying right to my face. I know about the music box. I know you didn't stumble across it in some little store in New York. Bianca had it made for me. She knows what that song means to me, how special it is to me. You used her to get close to me. You used our friendship and how she feels about me, and all just to get what you want. You've used her like you use everyone else around you. You haven't changed one damn bit."

"Okay! I asked her for a little help. I don't see what the big deal is. I only had the best intentions. You have to believe that. I only want to make you happy. If she says otherwise, she's lying."

"You are so full of it. I'm not buying one word you're saying, not anymore. You don't care about my happiness. If you did, you wouldn't keep lying to me. This is all about you and what you want, like always. As for Bianca, she didn't tell me about the music box. She's only ever thought about me and what I want. Things you've never done. I don't want you talking about her. You don't deserve to even say her name."

"Whoa! Bianca's a big girl. She decided to help me because she knew I could make you happy."

"No, she did it …" _She did it because she cares about me. She did it because, she did it because she does love me._ "You know, you'll never understand why she did it, so drop it. Leave, just leave."

JR was puzzled by Marissa's reaction. He would've bet anything that she would've jumped at his offer. Well, he still had one big card left to play. "There's AJ."

"What about AJ?"

"Well, you know that he wants us to get back together. He tells me that all the time. If you'd move back in, we can give AJ what he wants. He'd be the happiest kid in the world with the three of us all living together again, and you're always saying that you'll do anything to make him happy."

_I would do anything for AJ, anything except sell my soul to the devil, and that's exactly what I'd be doing if I moved back in with you. I'm not going to let you use him._ "Oh no! You leave AJ out of this! I will not have you use our son for your selfish needs. AJ will be okay. He'll understand that sometimes it's better for people to not be together. This is a perfect example of that. We are not good together. We don't work. We never have, and we never will."

"But I love you."

"No, you don't, JR. You love yourself. You see, if loved me, you wouldn't lie or cheat or use people to try and 'win' me back. You would know that I'm not some trophy or game, something for you to win. It's funny. All this time, we've been talking about you and what you want. You haven't asked me once what I want or how I feel. I don't want you, JR. I don't love you. I …"

"You what? Is there someone else? Is it Scott?"

"It's none of your damn business. I'm tired of your lying, your cheating and your games. I'm tired of you. I don't want you, and I don't want you here. Get that through your head. Just go."

JR was shocked. He had been so sure that he'd be able to convince her to move back. What changed? He'd find Bianca and get her help. He knew he could get her to help him. She'd figure out what went wrong and help him fix this and get through to Marissa. He was a Chandler, and Chandlers didn't lose. "Fine, but I'm not giving up. I will win you back."

"There's not a chance in hell of that _ever _happening again."

/

Bianca saw JR approach Marissa with his most charming smile and sit down next to her. The brunette was too late. That's how she felt at least. She had finally gotten the nerve up to talk to Marissa and tell her how she felt about her, that she was in love with her, and JR shows up. Bianca was left heartbroken yet again. She turned and started walking away from Marissa. She couldn't believe that she had let herself get her hopes up again and believe that the redhead felt the same way that she did, that Marissa was in love with her. How could she set herself up like that, again? _What the hell is wrong with me? Am I never going to learn? _

As she tried to come up with answers to those questions, another one arose in her mind and caused her to slow down. _What if?_ That simple question opened a floodgate and others rushed forward. _What if I'm wrong? What if Kendall is right? Kendall wouldn't tell me something that she didn't truly believe. What if Marissa really does love me? What if she's not confused? Marissa isn't the type of person to just say something like that, tell me that she loves me, and not mean it. She wouldn't that to me, to anyone. That's not who she is. Kendall's right. Marissa has done so many wonderful things for me, things that go above and beyond what someone who is just a friend would do. What if I'm walking away from the best thing that has ever happened in my life because of I'm letting my fear get the better of me? What if I'm walking away from happiness? What if I'm walking away from the one person who is right for me?_

Bianca stopped and looked around. In front of her, were two paths. One led out of the park and away from the redhead. The other led back into the park towards the lake and Marissa. One to her past and her fear, and the other possibly to her future and the love of a lifetime. _Fight for love, or run from it. What are you going to do, Montgomery? _


	5. Paths

**A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. They confirmed my decision to take this story back up, with someone's prompting. I'm glad I did. It's now time to close this particular story. I believe I've taken it as far as I can. No cliffhanger this time, just an ending that I hope you all like and enjoy. **

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Bianca stood at the edge of the two paths. Which one should she choose? She tried desperately to sort through the questions flooding her mind. No matter how hard she thought, it all seemed to come down to one question. _Fight or run?_ She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. One thought, one word, one name, one image came to mind, _Marissa_. Bianca opened her eyes as a smile formed across her face. She felt a sense of calm come over her even as her heart began to race. _How in the hell is that even possible?_ She shook her head knowing there would never be a logical or rational explanation for that question. Bianca could clearly see those hazel eyes that she had gotten lost in time and time again, ones that seemed to see right into her very soul, ones that seemed to reflect the soul of their owner and showed her inner beauty, ones that radiated warmth and love. She could see the smile that seemed to light up every corner of heart, the one that set off a chain reaction causing her to smile in return every time she saw it, the one that made her heart soar. She could hear the laugh that was the sweetest music to her ears, the one that made her heart light and lifted every burden from her that she carried. She could feel the hands that were both soft and strong, ones that could soothe her wounds, calm her fears and send shivers through her, ones that fit perfectly into her own. Bianca could feel those lips that were so soft and that had felt so right when they met her own, ones that had sent a shockwave through her and literally took her breath away.

She thought about Marissa and who she was. She was kind, caring and thoughtful. She had done so many things for Bianca. _She was there for me through the divorce and custody battle, preventing Reese's lawyer from taking Miranda and Gabby away from me. When mom had been kidnapped, she was right there by my side to help in any way that she could. Marissa put her life in danger for me when Ricky had attacked and kidnapped me and locked us in that closet. When that triggered those painful memories from my past, Marissa was somehow able to comfort me and helped give me the strength that I needed then even though she was just as frightened as I was. She didn't judge me for what I had done in my past. Instead, she justified those actions and defended me. When we escaped, she made sure I got to the hospital and didn't leave my side until she knew that I was okay. After all of that, how can I doubt her? I know her. I know who she is, and __Marissa isn't the type of person to tell me that she loves me and not mean it. _

_Those aren't just words to her. They are so much more. She has been through so much herself. She lost both of her parents suddenly and tragically and then had her whole world turned upside down when she found out they weren't her biological parents, that she had a whole other 'family' she knew nothing about. I know she still struggles with that. Marissa keeps that to herself for the most part, but she has trusted me enough to see glimpses of how that still affects her. I think her past is what makes her such a remarkable mom to AJ. She couldn't love him more if she had given birth to him, and to him, she is his mother. She helped nurse JR back to health, helped him fight his cancer and thought she had found love and happiness with him. How did he repay her? He lied to her and cheated on her and almost got her killed. She finally got her life back on track when JR decided he wanted her back. I knew it was wrong, but I let myself believe that he could give her the things, the life she wanted and deserved. I allowed myself to be played and used by JR. I betrayed her trust without meaning to. It was with the best of intentions, but it was a betrayal all the same. And then what did I do to her after that? I left her here alone crying and hurting, denying her feelings for me, telling her how she felt. What the hell was I thinking? Marissa is a strong and independent woman who knows her own mind. How could I have forgotten that? How could I doubt her?_

_I've been a complete idiot. Marissa put herself out there, put everything on the line, and took a chance when she's been hurt as much as I have. I could tell she was scared when she told me how she felt, but she faced those fears and fought. What did I do? I ran. I let my fear get the better of me, and I ran and left her crying. I'll never be able to forgive myself for that so how can I ever expect her to forgive me?_

Bianca blinked and suddenly noticed that she was no longer at the edge of the two paths. While her mind had been sifting through the thoughts bombarding her, her heart had made its decision and took over for her. It had decided which path to take. It had decided what she should do. _Fight._ She saw Marissa sitting alone on the same bench she had been earlier. The redhead seemed to be lost in thought. _I can do this. I need to do this._ Bianca took a deep breath and followed her heart. She approached Marissa quietly, but she must have heard her because she suddenly glanced up.

"Bianca! You came back." Marissa smiled.

Bianca smiled in return unable to stop herself from that automatic response. "Is it alright if I join you? If it's okay with you, I'd like to talk."

"Of course, I'm okay with that." Marissa quickly moved her purse from the park bench to the ground in front of her and turned to fully face Bianca.

"Are you okay? I can tell you've been crying." The brunette was kicking herself for being responsible for those tears.

"I'm okay, now. So have you. Are you okay?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure."

"What's wrong? What can I do to help?"

_Amazing. I'm the reason she's been crying and yet she's asking me if I'm okay and how she can help me._ "Could I ask you a favor? I know I don't have the right to ask, but …"

"Bianca, you can ask me anything. What do you need me to do?"

"Listen. I need you to listen and not interrupt me. Otherwise, I don't know that I'll ever get this out. Will you do that for me? Please?"

"Yes, of course I will." _Please, God, let her have heard me, let her believe me._

Bianca took a shaky breath. _No turning back now._ "I'm so sorry. I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am. I shouldn't have run away. I should have stayed and listened. I, I was scared. I let my fears get the best of me, let them stop me from believing what you were saying. I ended up hurting you, and you have to believe me, that's the last thing I ever want to do."

Marissa saw the tears forming in the brunette's eyes, and she wanted nothing more than to comfort her, take that pain away. "I believe you. What are you afraid of, Bianca? Please tell me."

"I, I'm afraid of losing you. You have become so important to me, mean so much to me that the thought of you not being in my life is almost too much to bear."

Marissa gently wiped away the tears that had escaped from those beautiful, warm chocolate eyes. "Bianca, I'm afraid of the same thing. You've come to mean everything to me, more than I ever thought possible. The thought of losing you terrifies me."

"It does? You don't seem terrified to me. You seem so brave to me, braver than I think I could be."

"Bianca, you are the bravest and strongest person I've ever known. I don't know anyone else who could've survived everything that you've been through."

"I don't feel very brave right now, Marissa. What I did to you?"

"But you came back. Why?"

"I had to. I had to come back and ask you to forgive me, to give me a chance to explain, to give me a chance to tell you how I feel."

"Bianca, there's nothing to forgive, nothing to explain."

"But there is, Marissa."

"No, there isn't. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. You could never do anything like that, and I know why you helped JR. You thought he was who I wanted, that he could give me the life I wanted, that he could make me happy. I know why said what you did. You were trying to protect me and yourself from being hurt, and you thought you were doing the right thing. I think I know the real reason behind all of that, but I need you to tell me."

"How can you, how can you forgive me that easily? I can't forgive myself."

Marissa took Bianca's hands in her own causing both women to shiver and marvel at how perfectly they fit together. "This is how. They fit perfectly together like we do."

Bianca smile slightly. _She's right they do._ "How are you so sure?"

"When I was little I asked my mom how she knew my dad was the one, how she knew that she was in love with him. She told me that when I found the right person, my other half, I wouldn't have any doubts, and I wouldn't feel like I was settling. I would just know. She was right. Before you even ask, a part of me always wondered about JR. There was always a part of me that questioned him and his feelings for me, a part of me that could never completely trust him, a part of me that felt I was settling for what I thought I wanted, a life I thought I wanted. I ignored those questions and doubts. I did it because I was young and didn't quite trust my own heart. And there was AJ. I didn't want to disappoint him. I wanted to give him the family he wanted. I was wrong. I can't be with someone that I don't love and don't trust no matter how much my son may want it. And AJ is so smart, and he is wise beyond his years. I'll talk to him, and he'll understand that JR and I don't belong together, that we can still be a family just not one that lives together. He'll understand that when you find the one person you belong with, you'll just know, like my mom said. I have absolutely no doubt about that. That's what I have now with you or maybe what I don't have. It's hard for me to think when I look at you. Let me try that again. I don't have any doubts where you're concerned. There are no doubts about how I feel about you. I've never been more positive of anything in my life. I'm in love with you."

Bianca's breath hitched as she gazed into those beautiful hazel eyes. In them, there were no doubts, no confusion. There was only love. She couldn't speak, couldn't find the words at that moment to tell Marissa all that was in her heart. Bianca did the only thing she could think of that could begin to convey her feelings to Marissa. She leaned forward and gently captured the redhead's lips. Marissa immediately responded, pulling Bianca closer. They reluctantly broke apart minutes later, each giving the other a dazzling smile as months of longing and pent up feelings and emotions were finally released.

Bianca cleared her throat, finally finding her voice. Marissa needed to hear the words she so desperately needed to say. "I'm in love with you too. I can't remember when I wasn't. You are amazing. I've never known anyone like you. You're fearless. You see me for who I really am and accept me as I am. You've been there for me too many times to count, never asking for anything in return. I trust you with my life. When I look at you, I just get lost in your eyes and forget to breathe. I …" She paused when she saw the smile on Marissa's face. "_I'm_ talking too much now, aren't I?"

Marissa smiled even more and nodded. "Yeah, you are."

There were no more questions, doubts, fears or running away. There was only moving forward, together. Knowing there was only one path she could ever take, the one which led to Marissa and their future, Bianca smiled and leaned forward once more for a loving kiss.


End file.
